ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION - HER VIEW

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is an issue, and not just for those who have it. It’s an emotional roller coaster ride for partners too – the internalizing, the blame. Is it their fault their man’s not up to it? Have they done something wrong? Are they not attractive anymore?

 

The first thing your partner needs to know is that while there can be very real psychological reasons for ED, the overwhelming cause is decidedly physiological. Common factors include diabetes , high blood pressure, high cholesterol, certain types of medication or even the early stages of heart disease.

 

Until your partner finds this out they could easily blame themselves. Increasing levels of anxiety, even feelings of hurt and anger often result. They may think you’re having an affair and begin hinting around this possibility. And here’s where things get tricky - a man with ED will often interpret these questions as an attack on him, so he pulls back. Your partner then either takes this as confirmation something is up, or if not, begins to question again if the ED is their fault. They then retreat as well. This cycle can continue till you both stop communicating altogether. And we all know what can happen then….

 

While a breakdown in communication is unhelpful, trying too hard to reignite things isn't the answer either. Indeed, many partners try to drown their mate in eroticism believing the problems will disappear if they simply take it up a notch. This can make things worse. The more pressure on him to instantly rise to the occasion, even though it’s highly likely a physical condition prevents him doing so, the worse it can get for both of you.

 

So what should partners do if their man can't perform? Experts seem to agree the most important thing is to remember it's not a partner’s problem and they’re not the cause. Don't feel rejected and don't personalize it. You’re both best to acknowledge the problem and open up lines of communication about it. Discuss things outside the bedroom -- not right after it happens but days or even weeks later. ABOVE ALL, DO NOT RESIGN YOURSELVES TO ACCEPTANCE.  This is when the problem just lingers, further slowing down recovery. While you’re talking about it, also seek professional advice from your doctor or prescribing pharmacist. They’ll have a better idea what’s causing the ED and how to treat it. The sooner you both know what’s causing the ED the sooner you’ll know how to treat it and feel secure in the relationship again. 

 

To find out whether your GP or pharmacist is best person for you to see, click here.